Dear N.C. Marathon people:
You’re going to freak out when you see what I do on Saturday.
I’m going to be the only person who takes a walk break two minutes out of the starting gate. Did I say two? It may just be one minute. I’ll have to see how I feel. In any event, it will be very, very soon after you say “go.” Then it’s going to happen. You’re going to say: “Oh, great. This one’s here’s not going to make it one-tenth of a mile, much less 13.1 miles. Hey, Jimmy, best have that ambulance ready for her at Mile Marker 4.”
But you will be wrong.
Here’s the thing: It takes me a while to warm up. I like to ease into my runs, to find my groove very slowly. Taking that first quick walk break is part of my elaborate, scientifically-calculated warming-up strategy. It is certainly won’t be the norm at your race, where Boston qualifiers will mingle with first-timers, where full-on marathoners will beat my time in the half. Oh, believe me. I’ll find my stride. But it won’t happen quick.
I’m down with that. You should be down with it, too. Unfortunately, not everyone is as tolerant, as understanding, as fully-actualized as we are. So you might want to tell your volunteers, your medical staff – and especially the other runners – not to fret over the middle-aged brunette with the pigtails who suddenly starts acting like an extra from this movie.
It’s all part of the plan.